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(no subject) [Sep. 9th, 2016|08:22 pm]
Crystal
Dear Judge,

My name is Crystal Kuegel and I use marijuana for medical purposes. I have a very severe panic attack disorder due to medical doctors and my family; as well as ADD and severe PTSD from medical doctors forcing me medication as well as my family. I have been forced over and over to take medication (Drugs) to the point where when PORT (Dr. williams) in jacksonville nc prescribed me Klonopin (which I hadn’t been prescribed in over 10 years) for my severe panic attacks due to my severe PTSD, that when I took the klonopin I felt like a drug abuser because i have to take a pill everytime I panic. This brought about traumatic feelings and emotions that formed due to the people I hung out with, and my fear of forced medication, due to white coat syndrome that i have been diagnosed with at Vident Greenville, and my family. My “friends” are hooked on pain pills and the severe emotions that come about when I see pills put me in a panic to begin with. My best friend Maria Snook has recently been shot and killed due to her severe pain pill addiction, because she wanted “to date a guy with drugs...and you know it”-Maria Snook. Currently I take Geodone for mood stabilizations and ambien for insomnia. I smoke medical Marijuana to keep my severe panic attacks and my PTSD flashbacks at bay.

PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, is an anxiety condition caused by disturbing episodes, such as military combat or sexual assault. In my case it is about doctors, family, and forced medication. Three classes of symptoms characterize PTSD: re-experiencing(flashbacks), avoidance, and hyper arousal (e.g., flashbacks, social isolation, insomina). The persistence of PTSD over time is attributed to changes in brain chemistry that occur at the time of the trauma, when adrenaline and stress hormones are hyper-responsive. My PTSD has been forming now for 10 years due to 30 Involuntary commitments from my family in jacksonville, NC and OMH when i would get loud. when i get loud and yell my feelings, i do not threaten or harm anyone, I just yell about the situation, the cops would get called or my mother would get mad and put her face in my face and say “what are you going to do, hit me?” and she’s mentally abusive and wouldn't leave me alone until i hit her and then she would call the cops after she had me backed into a corner and made me hit her so I could get out of her face, she did the same thing to my step dad, and also made my brother, Jonathan Palmero, homeless, and she has an empty house and lives with my sister, Flora Ortiz that works for the Richlands, NC PD. Due to my PTSD and panic attacks i wasn’t able to defend myself in the right ways and she’s always been emotionally and mentally abusive my whole life.

I graduated from ECU in 2007 with 4 years psychology, 1 year of graphic design and 2 years photography. I was diagnosed in 2002 with bipolar 1 with severe mania and manic episodes, ADD and a panic attack disorder. My tricare (my grandma adopted me for tax purposes and due to my mothers incapability due to drugs, i was named after Crystal Meth) stopped when I graduated college along with the great healthcare in Greenville NC that came along with it. (I was on $1000 risperidol shots that caused the left side of my body paralyzation for 8 hrs) When I moved back to jacksonville NC after I graduated college, the healthcare got worse and worse. I ended up starting therapy and doctor care at one service then that service would stop taking people with no healthcare and I got bounced around to a lot of different places and doctors in jacksonville nc. all this was happening when I lived with my mentally abusive mom and my symptoms were getting worse. Marijuana kept me safe and i had a reason to live because at that time when i was being bounced around from doctor to doctor I would smoke it to lessen the VERY severe panic attacks that were being caused with my family. I have NEVER once attempted suicide or acted any way on my suicidal thoughts because of the miracle marijuana put on this earth by God as a PLANT created by God to help people. The way I see it a plant is not a drug until the FDA approves it as one. then the government adds chemicals that makes it a DRUG-aka. pill. like the opium plant and percocets. look at what was done to the opium plant. I smoke a PLANT put down on earth by GOD himself.

“It helped with daily tasks like school, work, and relationships,” Crystal Kuegel said. “My mind would race due to thoughts created by a chemical imbalance in my brain and cannabis helps me slow down and think through the PTSD and panic trauma rather than hide from it. I can get through these severe traumatic memories with the marijuana PLANT and I can tell it's helping me because my sleeping patterns are normal when I smoke this PLANT and I don't have anxiety attacks when i smoke the PLANT(not drug), and when i do, the memories and panic attacks are severely less severe.”

Statistics show that about 1 in 5 military personnel deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan experience PTSD and panic attacks. Given cannabis’ federally prohibited status, veterans and I are instead steered toward antidepressants and antipsychotics, medications that have had very little success in treating severe PTSD symptoms. The miracle marijuana PLANT helps us severely.

“The drugs (ambien) that they are giving me … I cant get up in the mornings,” said Crystal Kuegel. “I wasnt the type of soldier who had issues before jacksonville NC or even in Greenville, NC, but they bring the real soldiers back from deployments and put them on these drugs, and they’re falling asleep in the chair. There was no way they could function, there was no way I could function. I’ve seen these military veterans first hand on the drugs prescribed by doctors. I cant even function in a civilian job on the drugs prescribed by the Jacksonville, NC doctors. How can the soldiers? So the marijuana plant is a great alternative.”

I know that medical marijuana is not yet legal in the state of NC and I would like to take myself to COURT in North Carolina to prove the effects that this PLANT had on ME in NORTH CAROLINA. because nothing else has helped me. the doctors in jacksonville never helped, there were no psychologists for me to see and talk to and the doctors are passing out prescriptions in jacksonville like its candy for druggies. I am not a drug abuser and NEVER have been. Marijuana has ALWAYS been a PLANT that God grew for us on this earth. I don’t even like to drink alcohol much. Marijuana has saved my life more than once due to suicidal thoughts caused by my family and OMH.

I am also 1/4th native american.

“A ceremonial pipe (peace pipe) is a particular type of smoking pipe, used by a number of Native American cultures in their sacred ceremonies. Traditionally they are used to offer prayers in a religious ceremony, to make a ceremonial commitment, or to seal a covenant or treaty. The pipe ceremony may be a component of a larger ceremony, or held as a sacred ceremony in and of itself. Indigenous peoples of the Americas who use ceremonial pipes have names for them in each culture's indigenous language.However, the smoking of a ceremonial pipe to seal a peace treaty is only one use of a ceremonial smoking pipe, by only some of the nations that utilize them. Various types of ceremonial pipes have been used by different Native American cultures. The style of pipe, materials smoked, and ceremonies are unique to the specific and distinct religions of those nations. Historically, ceremonial pipes have been used to mark war and peace, as well as commerce and trade, and social and political decision-making.[1] Many Native American cultures still practice these ceremonies.”
-google wiki

As we are in WWIII now; due to people not smoking marijuana peace pipes over in the other countries; I would like to offer you a sign of peace and pass my peace pipe throughout North Carolina. I also have started a Love Rally online and throughout Greenville NC, where I know many professors at ECU. I started the Love Rally and have been talking to the media, around the time the police officers and the black people got in trouble for violence and we had a peace rally in Jacksonville, NC.

Christianity plays a HUGE role in my life as well, as I am a devout Christian and have been celibate now for four years, because when Maria Snook got herpes and refused to take her medication, I swore to God that i would not have sex until marriage. I used medical marijuana to get through Maria’s death and it stopped me from killing myself many times since her death because medical marijuana keeps me calm and focused. it’s just a shame I can’t get it from a doctor like the people in:

I. Summary Chart: 25 states and DC have enacted laws to legalize medical marijuana
1. Alaska
2. Arizona
3. California
4. Colorado
5. Connecticut
6. Delaware
7. Hawaii
8. Illinois
9. Maine
10. Maryland
11. Massachusetts
12. Michigan
13. Minnesota
14. Montana
15. Nevada
16. New Hampshire
17. New Jersey
18. New Mexico
19. New York
20. Ohio
21. Oregon
22. Pennsylvania
23. Rhode Island
24. Vermont
25. Washington
soon to be North Carolina


Please let me offer you (jacksonville NC) my Peace services and firsthand knowledge about this terrible situation in North Carolina where I cannot get my medication. Let jacksonville North Carolinians talk about the legalization of medical marijuana FREELY. We are not smoking the nasty tobacco that kills us these days in our peace pipes. We are smoking medical marijuana in them and trying to pass the peace pipe throughout the world. This is me volunteering a way for World Peace.

#SPREADTHELOVEINJACKSONVILLENC
#IM NOTHIDING
#PASSTHEPEACETOJACKSONVILLENC
# MIRACLEMARIJUANAISAPLANT
#THE WEED PLANT DOES NOT KILL. PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE
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(no subject) [Sep. 1st, 2016|12:29 pm]
Crystal
Please let me offer you (jacksonville NC) my Peace services and firsthand knowledge about this terrible situation in North Carolina where I cannot get my medication. Let jacksonville North Carolinians talk about the leaglization of medical marijuana FREELY. We are not smoking the nasty tobacco that kills us these days in our peace pipes. We are smoking medical marijuana in them and trying to pass the peace pipe throughout the world. This is me volunteering a way for World Peace.

#SPREADTHELOVEINJACKSONVILLENC
#IM NOTHIDING
#PASSTHEPEACETOJACKSONVILLENC
# MIRACLEMARIJUANAISAPLANT
#THE WEED PLANT DOES NOT KILL. PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE

I got a weed ticket, LIKE SHARE AND POST TO FACEBOOK!!! ITS ALSO MY BIRTHDAY 9/1/83

-Crystal Kuegel
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(no subject) [Aug. 7th, 2016|02:39 am]
Crystal
i just wish he would talk to me. I'm moving to wilmington hopefully.
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(no subject) [Jul. 22nd, 2016|01:43 pm]
Crystal

Mario. U be keepin a smile on my face.

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(no subject) [Jul. 19th, 2016|12:20 am]
Crystal
i found out lilly was molested today. if my heart was broken yesterday...its dead now.
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(no subject) [Jul. 18th, 2016|03:26 pm]
Crystal

I'm praying for me and my friend right now because we're in the same situation yet different. it has to do with love and trying to fall out of loving someone that you should not love and I don't know how to stop loving someone that I shouldn't love and I don't know how to help her to stop loving someone that she's loved for years that treats her wrong and the truth is I can't help her. I can't help myself right now. my situation is killing me every single day, her situation is abusive. I do know though that I have to help myself before I can help anybody else and if somebody doesn't want help all I can do is give them the advice and go on about my life. I'm a good hearted person and I really care about the people around me but I care about myself first. and sometimes I know it's easier to focus on someone else's problems than my own but even when you have good advice and they don't or can't make themselves even remotely think of the possibility of leaving that person in their heart I know I have to leave it up to them to figure out what to do even though it hurts me and everybody around her to watch her go through this. all I can do is be her friend and give her advice and if it gets too much for me, i will separate myself from the situation to protect myself. she's a strong woman but this situation has been going on for too long and I feel helpless as her friend but then again it's not my problem and I will never be in a situation like that.but also I need to fall out of love with the people that I love that I can't be with forever. because I don't want to be in her situation I don't want to ever be in love with someone that will hurt me like what her man is doing to her so I should stay single until I find the right person to be with. So it won't hurt me. I feel helpless every day just dealing with my own situation. my own love situation is killing me and my heart. the people that are hurting me the most is the people that will refuse to help themselves and that's just about everybody in my life except myself

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my very very personalized and true horoscope [Jul. 17th, 2016|11:19 pm]
Crystal
crystal kuegel
September 1, 1983 • 23:00
Austin, 30°18' N 97°45' W EN RU UK




Astrology Report
( for the birth time 23:00 )

Sun in Virgo
Compassionate, interested in serving others, you worry about their welfare. You like to take care of everything, and are always redeeming, salvaging, and restoring. You believe in conservation in all things. You find yourself through response and service to others.

Sun in 5th house
You are expressive and outgoing when it comes to your feelings and emotions - you wear your heart on your sleeve. Creativity of all kinds is important to you - music, drama, art, poetry. Also, animals and children play a large role.

Moon in Cancer
You can sense and understand the mood and feelings of others, and are excellent at counselling and nursing. You are quite emotional, and have a natural sense of that which pleases, knowing the mood of the crowd. You can be overly protective (or protected), but are good at parenting and creating a home. Quite domestic.

Moon in 2nd house
Good things (the support you need) always seem to come to you. Friends, co-workers, and plain old lucky circumstances offer encouragement and backing. You often get what you need, when you need it.

Mercury in Libra
Yours is a reflective mind, a mirror for others. You are equality-minded and easy to talk with - a great mediator or negotiator. You find it easy to accept the ideas and thoughts of others and to hear them out. You are good at relations (politics, diplomacy, sales), not to mention considerate, helpful, and courteous. Calm.

Mercury in 5th house
You can express feelings and put emotions into words. This could give you a flair for the dramatic, public speaking, poetry, and the arts. You are proud of your mind and enjoy using it, solving puzzles - any creative mental outlet.

Venus in Leo
Big heart, big love, you are seldom petty. Given to grand gestures and dramatic scenes, you love independence and greatness in all forms and are regal. You can be generous to a fault. Children and animals are high on your list of priorities. Fervently loyal, you are courageous and demonstrative.

Venus in 4th house
You love your roots, whether home and family, ancestors, or history in general. You are probably a collector and discriminating in this area. You appreciate emotions and like to get a sense or feel for whatever is happening.

Mars in Leo
You have exceptional will power and creativity. You project an air of confidence, self sufficiency, and vitality that can cause people to sit up and take notice. The only danger lies in failing to take others' wishes into account in your eagerness. Even the best leaders need to sit back from time to time and listen to advice.

Mars in 4th house
You are driven to send down roots, dig in, and find the limits of whatever you are involved in. This urge to be secure always pushes you to always get to the foundation of things. You are motivated when it comes to home and family.

Jupiter in Sagittarius
Always on the go, you are a skilled diplomat, negotiator, or representative. Honest, frank, and to the point, you hate routines and love the outdoors, travel, and sports. An eternal optimist, you are open, friendly, and lucky too. Always the philosopher, you are not much taken with emotions. Independent.

Jupiter in 7th house
Your life path involves close relationships with others. This could be through a marriage or another form of yoga (union). Making the two one, joining together what is separate, is the key to your career.

Saturn in Scorpio
The test of Saturn in Scorpio is learning to control your desires, until you do, pain will purify them.

Saturn in 6th house
Your critical faculties are severe, and it may be difficult for you to exercise them. Once you turn your analytical light on, you tend to be relentless in appraisal. This could make working with others difficult. Good for food, health, conservation.

Uranus in Sagittarius
You have new philosophies, ideas for the future and new approaches to travel and exploration (of all kinds). Long journeys interest you. You may startle others with your direct conversations, always getting right to the point. You enjoy being alone, free, and on the move. The original optimist.

Uranus in 7th house
You seem to assert your independence in relationships and the social scene. Unconventional, to say the least, you may well enjoy a different kind of marriage or friendship. You have insight into marriage or yoga - the ties that bind.

Neptune in Sagittarius
Idealism is an innate talent, and you are in love with grand gestures and long thoughts. Religion, politics and philosophy are natural. The world traveler. You enjoy fair, just, frank, and broad-minded persons. You are gregarious and sports-minded. You dare to dream big. You like new philosophies, long novels.

Neptune in 8th house
You are likely to be highly sensitive, able to pick up information out of the air. You can use this knowledge well for your own benefit. You will experience changes of fortune and should guard against deception from shared finances. You may die in a peculiar manner.

Pluto in Libra
Change and inner growth tend to come through relationships, both friends and lovers. Marriage or union (yoga) will be intense and not at all superficial. You get to the heart of a relationship each and every time.

Pluto in 6th house
You tend to be radical when it comes to self-analysis, which includes health care, food, physical wellbeing. Serving and caring for yourself and others is a primary source of inner growth and change. You are sensitive to criticism.

Taurus Ascendant
The Taurus Ascendant endows you with practicality, self-assertion, diplomacy and an affable disposition. You are loving, affectionate, fond of pleasure, cool, self-contained, firm and strong-willed, a lover of peace, quiet, comfort, and harmony. You are quiet-natured and not easily roused to temper, however, once your passion is roused you can be very dangerous - the raging bull. You can be somewhat reserved and self-centred, and show great obstinacy upon occasion. You do not change very easily, and are a little lacking in adaptability. Your course of life tends to move from day to day and even from year to year in its accustomed channels with comparatively little alteration. You are not easily influenced by other people, but are a persistent and patient worker in your own way and according to your own ideas. There is a tendency to laziness and an over attachment to material values. Qualities lacking to some degree which may be found in your partner are aggressiveness, sympathy for others, passion, energy and a capacity for sustained work.

2nd House Cusp in Gemini
You make money from original ideas and practical thinking with respect to material resources. You are not confined to one financial outlet.

3rd House Cusp in Cancer
A maternal/paternal attitude prevails toward brothers and sisters and the neighborhood environment. There is much coming and going and fluctuation in communication. You tend to travel in connection with business and financial affairs.

Leo Nadir
You express your power through the home and family. Generally, your homes are showplaces through which you express your creativity and status. You entertain lavishly, and those who come into your homes are treated with warmth and love.

5th House Cusp in Leo
You are ardent in love. You identify strongly with your children and want to be proud of them. Your constant flow of creative energy is often expressed in art. You like to excel in sports and competitive games. You can be lucky in speculation, although as a rule you do not engage in it.

6th House Cusp in Libra
You are able to work effectively with others in matters of service. You seek harmony and cooperation with your co-workers, and this is probably one reason for your financial success. As employers you are just and treat your employees as equals.

Scorpio Descendant
You are attracted to power and status. You seek energetic partners, those who excel in creative expression and the power to accomplish. However, you must guard against jealousy, combativeness, and possessiveness with partners. Coinciding with you need for regeneration where partners and the public are concerned is the need for spiritual detachment.

8th House Cusp in Sagittarius
There is much legal activity in regard to wills, insurance, and joint finances. You often profit through inheritance. Your partners usually are financially stable, and useful in the your progress toward the next "green field".

9th House Cusp in Capricorn
You are very traditional and conservative in religion and philosophy. Your philosophical outlook is restricted by materialism. Your humanitarian instincts are expressed through your professional work.

Aquarius Midheaven
This placing indicates that your career or area of responsibility in the world relates to gaining knowledge and expertise associated with the development of a broad, tolerant and impartial attitude when dealing with friends and other social groups. Intellectual power is important - original thinking, intuition and an investigative nature need to be developed and given practical application. You are a free soul and a confirmed nonconformist. You will generally do well working with electrical and electronic equipment, or in social work, photography, or any group or organisational work.

11th House Cusp in Aquarius
You are capable of establishing many friendships and working wen in groups, especially with young people. However, your individualism some times prevents your having many friends. You are also erratic in your associations.

12th House Cusp in Aries
Impulsiveness and headstrongness can be the cause of your undoing, although courage and decisiveness are your hidden support. You secretly initiate new activities in order to elude competitors.

Sun Square Uranus
It may be difficult for you to break with convention and head out on your own. Your ambitions may well prosper, but often at the expense of any real independence and freedom. There is a switch effect: you may alternate between very conventional behavior and sudden rebellious lapses. At these times your nonconformity and refusal to go along works against your own best interests, making it difficult to get ahead.

Moon Sextile Venus
A born charmer with an innate love and appreciation for other people, especially children. A sense of color, of music and all of the arts - the beautiful and the comfortable. Always welcome in a group, you are a connoisseur of things bright and kind.

Moon Square Mercury
You have difficulty expressing your emotions and tend to say things that are unrelated to what you may actually be feeling. You blurt out stuff that you don't really feel, and have trouble putting your real feelings into words. Thus you can't find a lot of support from others for what you think. You don't waste a lot of thought on your surroundings, and history or tradition probably are not high on your interest list. You may upset others with things that you say. You could tend to argue with women.

Moon Trine Saturn
Your sense of responsibility is so well developed that you always end up managing any situation you become involved in. You are disciplined, work hard, and are good at getting others to work with and for you. Perhaps a little too serious and frugal, you enjoy getting along on less. Essentials are what count. You like to keep to yourself and tend to avoid too much socializing. Others may prefer keeping some distance too.

Moon Trine Pluto
You have natural psychological ability, in particular when working with the public. You can handle emotional and personal issues (vulnerable areas) where angels fear to tread. People sense this about you and trust you with sensitive matters, inner worries, and questions of personal identity. You have a real mission and a sense of purpose.

Moon Opposed Neptune
The image you project of what is perfect or ideal from your point of view may find little support at home. Others could oppose or block you in these matters, and maintaining your dreams may be at the price of your friends and surroundings. You may find your background, environment, and all that is traditional less than ideal, even flat and uninspiring.

Mercury Sextile Jupiter
Good ability to "get the picture" (the gist of things) and to communicate this to others. In fact, helping others to find their way through life (for example via vocational counseling) is indicated. Religious ideas and concepts are natural.

Venus Sextile Pluto
An almost reckless faith in the life process. A natural revolutionary and supporter of change. Fervent feelings for others and deep running emotions mark all relationships. Great personal intensity, even power. Love animals, children, and change.

Venus Trine Neptune
You have the gift of working with others, helping them to sense and feel the unity of life. Your love of the spiritual and the eternal is clear to all who meet you. You love to solve the problems of the world, at least in words and images, and when you tell it, all are enchanted. Dreams and images are your stock and trade.

Jupiter Conjunct Uranus
Unusual vocations. Your career or life path, the way you make your living or get through life, will be very different, perhaps unique. You always take the road less traveled by and, skirting the crowd and the commonplace, head for parts unknown. Your approach to any problem is always original and you could invent things or discover new places or develop new ways of doing things. Communications, computers, and the whole electronic revolution are a perfect career choice for you.

Saturn Conjunct Pluto
You may have a tendency to avoid sensitive subjects and to take refuge in duties and responsibilities rather than face issues that might disturb you or put you through some changes. You are a stern pragmatist in all that is psychological - whatever wells up from inside us. Your need for psychological security and absolute truth in all matters cuts through most chit-chat and settles on core material. You concentrate on deep, inner changes in you and in others - depth psychology.

Neptune Sextile Pluto
A searing vision that cuts through what passes for conventional religion. A vision of the endless process of life ever being born afresh. Great acceptance and faith in the natural process and next generation. Love of children and animals.
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(no subject) [Jul. 11th, 2016|07:25 am]
Crystal
take me away from here.

to a place where people do nothing but play music all day, in person and free.

anywhere but here.
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(no subject) [Jul. 10th, 2016|11:45 am]
Crystal
ME:omg do u know whats going on in the world
and the black rally protest in jax yesterday

Cassie: Killing of these innocent people and cops

ME:no JAX

Cassie: I didn't see any protests

Me: go read my fb

Cassie: Here in Jacksonville

ME: yes

Cassie: Wtf
What else

Me: yesterday...it was a peaceful protest

Cassie:It's sad tho it really is
Cause now they killin these kids and police men who ain't did anything wrong for what ???
Because of the few racist ones

ME:yeah girl and between the niggers and isis..i just want to ask..u wanna book it to hawaii with me cause they aint killing no one over there...
hahaha

Cassie:Hahaababababhaa alhoa
Aloha

ME:for REAL

Cassie:Well be hula dancers
Get free drinks all night

ME:you know it and they aint skinny girls well fit right in

Cassie:Right they alllllll chunky there
espessially the men tho
I don't like that

Me:yeah the men are ugly..ima have to bring one from here
grab a man and lets book it!
LMAO
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(no subject) [Jul. 8th, 2016|11:56 pm]
Crystal
today jonathan told everyone he was going to join the circus. I almost DIED. LAUGHING.
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(no subject) [Jul. 7th, 2016|02:53 pm]
Crystal
damn it feels good to focus on other peoples problems instead of my own.

thats DAMN true.
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(no subject) [Jul. 6th, 2016|08:05 pm]
Crystal

When my mom and grandma told me they wanted to my car tittle in my name i had a panic attack and spit in my moms face and the cops came.

I think i reacted that way because i didnt have the money to pay to fix it when it broke down...and at the time it was breaking down like every day. I was afraid they would stop helping me keep my car running ...and thats what my aunt told her to do.

But that will never happen.

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the truth about the end of the world [Jul. 2nd, 2016|08:59 pm]
Crystal
what is an empty vessel?

based from the bible and the catholic religion the bible states that you should become an empty vessel and fill your vessel(body) with Gods light and let God control the situation through your body the vessel.

also its used in terms of (in christianity) that when you die your body becomes an empty vessel and your soul goes to heaven, and thats that.

another way of looking at the definition of an empty vessel is when your body is living, but your astral soul slips out and your body becomes an empty vessel for everything, meaning that your soul is somewhere else, this does allow other entities to occupy your body (empty vessel)in the vatican catholic church they have rituals to actually make very devoted catholics empty vessels. i cant quite find any research in detail online about this so i do not understand yet why the catholic church would want to do that.

self Flagellation was a practice ritual used by devoted catholics in the roman catholic church in which they would physically hurt themselves in order to discipline themselves. it was mostly high leveled devoted priests that practiced that because they felt they had to be strict on themselves in the eyes of God or Jesus to suffer like jesus did. it was like a form of hail mary's because common people confessed to priests and priests confessed directly to God. and i believe that they believe that self harm is deserved because of how jesus was crucified and has suffered. so they punish themselves as jesus was punished.

jesus' soul is bound to the cross by rituals in the catholic church.
and he is still bound.
until the catholic church unbinds him, jesus' soul will not be in a vessel(body) and his second coming will not happen.

we are now in what the bible calls "tribulation" where everyone will experience worldwide hardships, disasters, famine, war, pain, and suffering, which will kill a lot of people

tribulation as stated by the bible is the period before the rapture.

the rapture is the period before armageddon.
the rapture itself is not known weather or not we will KNOW or even realize it has happened

when theres talk about a rapture in the bible it doesnt mean a million people are going to die and be taken from earth.

it doesn't mean that the believers of jesus that are dead, and only the saved christians and some of the living who believe in jesus are going to immediately go up to heaven to meet God together. its not about JESUS. (other than this is leading up to his release of soul from the cross ie. the second coming. which will happen)

it means the souls that are stuck in cycles, limbo, the souls that experienced a violent death, that are still stuck in that last memory, they will be taken up to our spirit world...aka heaven and just because its in the bible and the bible talks about how only those saved by jesus christ will be saved. thats not true. this is about every person on earth.

the bible is a book written by divine intervention through real people

and divine intervention messages can come in the form if several different ways.

voices in your head, pictures in your head, visions in your mind. messages can come from music, getting an impression from a different person.

my point is divine intervention happens but its subject to how the soul in the vessel interprets the messages they receive. and this means that their personality, way of living, way of thinking on this earth can get in the way of altering the messages that are divinely received.

and the bible was written just as krishna wrote the Bhagavad Gita, just as Mohammad wrote the Quaran.

to understand the end of the world, religion, or anything about afterlife you would have to read and interpret all bibles in all religions all over the world on earth. and ive been reaching the bible, quaran and the bhagavad Gita (indias bible) so those 3 books are an important starting point for me to understand the begining, the end, and this earth.

as an american with no culture, i can be very open minded and understand that EVERYONES RIGHT. EVERY religion is absolutely right. created by humans, for humans, in order to try to understand this world and create a sense of order and structure.

youve got to remember that people didnt travel back then when these spiritual books were written. these people were stuck in their own world (countries) surrounded by their own people in very different places on earth at different times, jesus mohammad and krishna were all PROPHETS. not God. they were HUMAN prophets that were very advanced souls in a world where most souls werent that advanced. so yes they were smarter , yes they were teachers, and yes they were people that changed the world in a very big way seemingly only in their country, or in the religion that formed from their teachings.

but no. they are not God. but yes. they are Worshiped as we feel God should be. and that is ok for now. on earth.

Dont forget we are in TRIBULATION and the bible was the last book to be written by a prophet human that is worshipped like God.

so i know evolution has come a long way. but to understand what will happen next weve got to understand whats happening now.
tribulation.

but. we now have the resources to understand.

because souls have been progressing since the beginning of the earth. we die and come back or get stuck and cycle until we progress move on and come back to earth. and when our soul comes back to earth, whether we are cycling, and not completing our contract with God

{which we wrote with his help in the spirit world before our soul came into our vessel (body) }

or if we did complete the contract with God our soul goes to the spirit world but we get up there and formulate a whole different contract and come back down to earth.

but this time, because of the last contract with God we just completed, we come back to earth with a more evolved spirit and a new harder contract with God to complete, that evolves our soul even more, so when we get back to the spirit world our soul is closer to God. because thats the ultimate goal. our soul as close and like God's Soul.

so you should now understand HOW krishna, mohammad and jesus changed the world for us.

they came down to earth as VERY advanced souls. as they planned and wrote out with God in the spirit world.

but our vessels and our souls are more advanced now then they were back then. not just some but all.

granted there are souls still struggling to complete the same contract with God. and this can be explained as...

if we kill ourselves and give up upon completing our contract with god, we WILL immediately cycle directly back to earth in a similar vessel with a similar life close to the one we've gave up when we killed ourselves our last life. if we didnt we would not advance our soul to become closer to God.

in another note, i believe everything happens as it happens. for a reason. for a purpose. so if someone misinterpreted a divine intervention message. it was as it should be. for there are NO mistakes in this world. but theres a lot of lessons to be learned and thats why we are here. so our souls can be as close like God as possible in the spirit world.
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(no subject) [Jun. 29th, 2016|04:06 am]
Crystal
I'm in there locked away.
im spripped of everything i own
im screaming because im being threatened by nurses and security because of the disability i have and of the trauma ive experienced there.
I'm having panic attacks and the doctors are busy and the nurses are trying to make me be quiet but all i do is scream in terror
a nurse threatened me, skinny long dark hair with glasses she came up to me backed me into a corner and told me i was screaming too loud and scaring kids, i screamed, im having a panic attack and PTSD symptoms back away from me, she didnt back away but i backed myself into a corner and started panic scream crying. im scared , im sick too, i cannot control the loudness of my voice right now. i was having a severe panic attacks with thoughts of me being surrounded by security and nurses and being strapped to the bed for days and injected with medication until i pass out only to wake up crying the next day to start it again they let me go home the next day when i woke up reduced to tears, nobody talked to me except the ER doctor whom i told im having thoughts of wanting to die that im not going to act upon or hurt anybody else.
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(no subject) [Jun. 28th, 2016|06:09 pm]
Crystal
i feel like dying and my doctor ivcd me even after i told him i have been traumatized by onslow memorial hospital, i got taken to onslow memorial hospital where the fears came back the ptsd came back, i was loud and scared i was shaking with fear just because i was there. i even want to go to the hospital but i know it will be too much trauma. i do know im have these thoughts of dying but i also know i dont act upon them
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(no subject) [Jun. 25th, 2016|09:25 am]
Crystal
and im doing better than yesterday. its time for me to quit smoking. so im going to quit smoking cigarettes and weed at the same time. life is to scary to be fucking up, and a lot of people want to se me do good. so i will.

ive done this before.

its not hard for me to stop weed.

im more worried about the cigarettes.

i feel safe about not having to rely on weed. i feel safe to think i can stop smoking cigarettes.

i feel safe to say im not going crazy, its safe and true to say that im really in my heart doing my best right now.

theres always room for improvement, excelment

I can admit to myself and to everyone that im not the same woman i was before i went to the crystal bed.

i keep letting myself know all the things im doing right.
but not only that i keep doing the right thing.

so i know its working.

and i can be really proud of myself
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(no subject) [Jun. 24th, 2016|02:21 pm]
Crystal
im handling life right now better than i ever have before. better than i have in my whole entire life. theres some really serious shit happening around me in all directions and i am ok.
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(no subject) [Jun. 19th, 2016|01:40 pm]
Crystal
The Infant Jesus of Prague (Czech: Pražské Jezulátko; Spanish: Niño Jesús de Praga) is a 16th-century Roman Catholic wax-coated wooden statue of child Jesus holding a globus cruciger, located in the Carmelite Church of Our Lady Victorious in Malá Strana, Prague, Czech Republic.

infant of prague


The globus cruciger (Latin, "cross-bearing orb"), also known as the orb and cross, an orb (Latin globus) topped (Latin gerere, to wear) by a cross (Latin crux), has been a Christian symbol of authority since the Middle Ages, used on coins, in iconography, and with the sceptre as royal regalia.

crucifixion over the world. the cross is authority over an orb which represents earth.
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(no subject) [Jun. 19th, 2016|03:29 am]
Crystal
you dont get to do anything to me that i do to you. i dont know why? but maria taught me that.

like if i cheat, u cant get mad back and cheat. thats just not acceptable.

her theory is, its ok for me to do that to him, but if larry does something drunk maria pulls that gun out on his ass.

according to maria's relationships. i learned that
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(no subject) [Jun. 19th, 2016|02:40 am]
Crystal

I guess nobody understands in jacksonville! college life.

It was
Work hard
Play hard
Work harder.

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(no subject) [Jun. 18th, 2016|02:03 am]
Crystal
i dont want to feel like one of your stupid fucking cunt whore bitches. i can resist money to save my heart. I can stop loving you if im crying everyday because i love you but im not happy, if youre not honest, i will know! i will kick you out of my life so fast youre head will spin. and im not the breakup makeup type of woman. it will be over and i will move on. think very carefully about this because i dont put up with games. you are a game player. if im always hurt by you, or cry too much because of you. ill make u break up with me so fast you wont even know i broke us up. i do that in every relationship ive ever had.

i wont put up with...
lies
cheating
trying to make me jealous on purpose
stupidity
dumbness

but. if you do make me happy, there wont be any problems.

lets see that happen.
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(no subject) [Jun. 17th, 2016|05:34 pm]
Crystal
it would be great if most everyone stopped thinking to me. stop thinking about me completely. if your not in my life go live your life and please dont bother me. i dont need stupid bullshit in my life. EVER. im trying hard to do this too.
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(no subject) [Jun. 16th, 2016|12:00 am]
Crystal
it aint no joke.
I'm always rushing.
im not a chill laid back person.

I'm always on the go.
I'm always on to the next thing.

i always want to do something and it kills me theres nothing to do in this town for free like it was in Greenville.

I was a full time student,
studying psychology,
graphic design and photography

i partied everynight,

frat parties
house parties
bands and clubs
i never had to pay to get drunk!
or pay to listen to music live

had a couple of manic episodes, and got my heart CRUSHED big time. i was never the same after ryan...

i kept right on pushing

graduated ecu

fell in love with my psychiatrist/ therapist/ of 10 years

then i left everyone in Greenville.

i barely got through this, i almost killed myself MANY times. i NEVER made a suicide attempt. i stopped caring many times. i would already be back in the hospital right now if i hadnt met John of God.
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(no subject) [Jun. 15th, 2016|05:06 pm]
Crystal

You know its getting bad if im crying over chick flicks. Lmao.

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(no subject) [Jun. 13th, 2016|09:37 pm]
Crystal
and the NEXT fucking arab that pisses me off... ima pledge allegiance to ISIS and bomb ALLLLL your stores at the same time, and laugh about it when i tell the judge im crazy. i thought isis KILLED NIGGERS.


"So remember that just as wanting to “kill” someone is not necessarily a desire to commit an actual crime, a fantasy of revenge is not necessarily a desire to inflict actual hostility. Sometimes it is just a silent mental wish to see someone get paid back, a wish to feel the satisfaction of knowing that the one who causes hurt will get hurt in the end. And sometimes revenge is just a desire to keep your mouth shut when you might be able to redress a wrong. Again, it’s all very subtle with roots deep in childhood insecurity."
http://www.guidetopsychology.com/anger.htm
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(no subject) [Jun. 13th, 2016|09:14 pm]
Crystal
Omg i made ed so scared he was shaking. But i aint got one dollar for rellos or ciggarettes. Nigger. Stop pissin me off about money. Everyone. I dont have shit.

nigger u wanna fuck with me some more? i already dont like you. u wanna be jonases bitch and kick me out of his store. like your scared as hell of him you all are! hahahaha yeah what. you aint met me yet bitch.

and u asking me for money when i aint got none. nigger look at ur fucking car. fuck you bitch. youre fucking with the wrong bitch at the wrong time about the wrong thing.

AND YOU DONT KNOW ME. NIGGER.!

bitch please, i aint scared of PUSSYS!
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(no subject) [Jun. 13th, 2016|05:39 pm]
Crystal
ima little angry these days, and looked up anger management, and found the smash shack its a place in piney green where you can pay to break stuff, like 20 dollars for 30 things but then i sat back and said nahh ill just break my moms shit for free along with beer bottles and dishes in my head. but really that can only last so long, so what do i do with my anger and where does my anger come from. i dont know about that emotion, ive never thought about that emotion like this until today, but anger gets physical and if i hold it back then when someone doesnt give me my way or throws something at me that i cant handle like my landlord, and what he recently did. lying to me about there being dog poop in sues room just because he wanted me to pay for him to clean the carpets. is my anger a replacement for panic or sadness? like a defense type. or does it stem from something that i dont want to think about right now. like my family being stupid fucking selfish cunt bitches.


omg every website on anger sucks goat dick like moe!

no one really understands anger not even ME!
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(no subject) [Jun. 13th, 2016|01:37 pm]
Crystal
well i called port and they have no anger management classes so i got mad.
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(no subject) [Jun. 12th, 2016|04:03 pm]
Crystal

Everyones pissin me off today. But when i think of him i smile.

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(no subject) [Jun. 11th, 2016|01:55 pm]
Crystal
i feel dirty. im living like shit because i get 700 a month and dont have a roomate or any other income. i feel nasty. im sick about it. i dont like living like this. it tearing me down. theres nothing i can do right now. my house isnt dirty at all but its over whelming me to even think about cleaning more than a little at a time. im actually having a panic attack as im writing this. im calm but panicing at the same time. and this situation is getting hard. i dont have food. i feel like im being damaged. severly damaged. but healing at the same same. this makes me want to die and makes me not want to live like this. i feel like dying. but im ok. nobody understands how bad its getting. im starving. literally and spiritually.

and ill get through this.
i already KNOW IT.
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(no subject) [Jun. 11th, 2016|01:12 pm]
Crystal
I got ptsd about money. And no one is helping me. Honestly i think i may feel like i dont deserve anything at all. No help. No love. No money. I wouldnt take it if i wasnt desperate. Sex would fulfill a need too.  But right now im seriously refusing to have sex with anyone. As in nobody.  Nobody.
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(no subject) [Jun. 11th, 2016|08:37 am]
Crystal
when i get upset about the past or something in the present that triggers the past, i cry hard, but dont panic, the panic and crying is separate now. I'm doing some serious crying about some stuff stolen and i do realize that part of my soul is tourchered, terrified, and traumatized right now.
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(no subject) [Jun. 10th, 2016|12:07 pm]
Crystal
today is a great day! im starting to love life more each day. I thank God for that. and a lot of people here on earth. i had to let maria go for a while. her drama is too much. im starting my life over. theres a big change inside me. thank GOD. things are starting to make sense and come together little by little. i know i didnt do all this just to keep wondering why. I'm not asking why anymore. im laughing more now. im loving life and happy at this moment. i need to let my anger go! it will happen as time passes. I'm feeling mentally stable. it improves each day.

i found a gym buddy! and a drama free friend! shes awesome.

hell yeah. i can see some fun our future!
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(no subject) [Jun. 7th, 2016|09:02 pm]
Crystal
Technically all living entities can be designated as brahman and all liberated souls can be designated as para brahman. The material substratum known as prakriti can also be designated as para brahman as well; but the Supreme Lord Krishna's is the supreme para brahman.

[[[was at the time, he is not God... now everyone rise ur kundalini and take a deep breath in. ]]]]
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(no subject) [Jun. 7th, 2016|06:27 pm]
Crystal
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this explains a lot about how we each have our own soul and about what happens when our body dies. [Jun. 7th, 2016|05:29 pm]
Crystal
Because of the traditional conception that a son is born of a father and and that the grandfather died and also due to there being an injunction by the authority of the Vedic books of law that a brahmana remains impure during the ten days following a birth or death in his immeadiate family; how is it possible that one can think of the soul as being birthless and deathless? And if one continues to think of the soul as being born and of dying how can one alleviate their grief when the physical body dies? Can the authority of the Vedic books of law be denied? To clarify such doubts Lord Krishna uses the word dehinah meaning attributed to the embodied soul. It is the embodied soul who occupies the physical body which is the vehicle to experience the consequences of all ones actions. The embodied soul allocated a particular body experiences infancy, childhood, youth and old age, each stage of life which possess its own distinct attributes at different time periods. But although there is a difference in the stages and a difference in the perception of identity there is absolutely no difference in the soul. This is because although the activities one experiences continuously reside in the compartment of the memory and because when one is experiencing these different stages there developes the conception of identifying with the bodily designation in the form of it was I who in a young body played upon a fathers lap and was fed by a mother in infancy and it is I who now in an old body experience various relationships with children and grandchildren in old age. Only the bodily conception has changed the soul remains the same. In the same way that the embodied soul experiences the changing physical body, the embodied soul changes physical bodies at the time of death. There is no difference in the soul during any of these modifications of the physcical body and there is no difference in the soul due to the natural process of receiving another new body. One who is spiritually intelligent realizes that there is no birth or death associated with the soul and is not deluded by the apparent disfunctiong of the physical body even in the death of a son or father.

From this verse up until verse 30 beginning with dehi nityam avadhyo meaning the embodied soul can never be destroyed, the use of the singular is in the collective sense referring to all existing souls and this does not suggest that these embodied soul although of the nature of the Supreme Soul are on the same paltform with. This collectivity of the individual souls referred to is taught by the expert preceptor in the line of disciplic succession that the soul is eternal and never suject in any way to old age and death.

Statements supporting the varieagatedness of attaining communion with the Ultimate Consciousnes can be found in almost all of the chapters of Bhagavad-Gita and this variegatedness is supported based on the context by which they are written. Statements such as those of great virtue whose sins have been dissolved, those being freed from the delusion of the dualities, those great souls who possess the divine nature offer exclusive worship to the Supreme Lord, with their minds and lives surrendered to the Supreme Lord, those free from pride and infatuation, those who have conquered the vice of attachment and those whose desires have completely dissapeared, This varieagatedness is delieanated for those whose nescience is completely dissolved, whose doubts have been dispelled by knowledge, whose minds are firmly established in God, whose are righteously engaged in promoting the welfare of all living entities whose sins have been washed away, who are free from lust and anger, who have controlled their minds and who have realised the Ultimate Truth.

If this were not the case then accepting the conception of the oneness of all souls in all bodies would mean that we all would have a singular uniform experience. If we were all one soul then whether one were sleeping, another was waking and another fainting, all would experience the same sensations of pleasure pain simultaneously. Moreover there would be no difference in anyones perception due to the absence of any individuality and perceptions of you are and I am. But it is factually not like this in this world and this can be clearly understood by ones individual consciousness. Therefore it is established that those who propound oneness of the soul in all living entities are mistaken for even in the eternal soul there is also varieagatedness. So regarding death of the soul and other such fallacious arguements those with spiritual intelligence neither lament nor are deluded.
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(no subject) [Jun. 7th, 2016|05:16 pm]
Crystal
Next it might be questioned why do the wise not lament for the living or the dead? Lord Krishna here gives the reason to this establishing that the soul is eternal and not the physical body.

The words na and eva meaning certainly never, destroys any conception of the physical body being able to ever be equated with the soul. As the Ultimate Soul among all individual souls it is not that the Supreme Lord did not exist before this time for He always existed. Similarly it is not that Arjuna and all the kings on the battlefield did not exist before this time, for they all certainly existed for the immortal soul transmigrates from body to body. By the authority of Bhagavad-Gita this verse spoken by the Supreme Lord Krishna refutes such statements as: and it is not again shall we all exist hereafter from the present time till the end to come, meaning that indeed we shall all exist. So this explains and puts into the proper perspective the dissolution of the material manifestation at the time of universal destruction.

By negating the origin and destruction of the soul, its very existence is proved in the middle.

In this way the souls existence is proven in all three being creation, maintenance and destruction.

All souls are immortal being eternal and hence should never be grieved for.

[[[grievance is a physical emotion in this world. u can separate yourself from those emotions but our purpose of coming to earth is to cry, it is to feel pain. it is to love, these emotions happen to every body throughout time in our physical reality. thats why were down here, thats how our soul grows closer to God. who is the creator of our souls. maybe God just happened. i dont know how to explain God yet other than the description of every words that means Allah on this earth.]]]]
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(no subject) [Jun. 7th, 2016|02:05 pm]
Crystal
In order to evoke the power of discrimination between the physical body and the soul,

the Supreme Lord Krishna rejecting Arjunas scholarship replied that he was grieving for those who should not be grieved for,

such as Bhishma and Drona who are engaged in battle to win merit. Here Lord Krishna responds to Arjunas statement in chapter 1, verse 32 of: Lord Krishna responds to Arjunas statement in chapter 1, verse 32 of: What use is kingdom, fabulous wealth, enjoyments or even living. It is only Arjunas (tiphannys (as just an example of real ife)) deluson that he grieves thinking that without relatives there is no purpose of ruling the kingdom or in living. Moreover Arjuna talks like one learned saying that sin would be incurred but then disregarding the fact that Duryodhana and his brothers are heinious offenders. So in this way Lord Krishna shows that

foolishness and scholarship are illogical and a diachotomy being contradictory hence Arjuna’s attempt at scholarship has no value.

Why? Because those with spiritual intelligence do not grieve for the dead or the living.

crystal says in her head, i say: "but I am living i say to myself. and the living grieve, so i grieve for the living, as i grieve for myself in the present."

listen to how stupid i sound now.

tiphs mad at me because i said, omg the last time i saw travis (whos dead) yall kicked him out that was the saddest fucking thing. i was reliving the memory of the last time i saw him and how scared i was, i got real emotional and had a flashback, and this is what came out of my mouth...omg the last time i saw travis yall kicked him out that was the saddest fucking thing. and i was scared from the flashback. i didnt mean to imply anything. i stated a truthful fact, but she got mad like she does to me alllll the time. shes going through a lot but i got mad to and i think i handled everything as well as i could. how mad could i be. he was a good friend to her. but excuse me for not sobbing. i got shit to deal with. i told her to be happy.

Lord Krishna informs Arjuna that due to fraternal feelings he was neglecting his own nature not to fulfil his duty according to righteousness.

Is it because of the fear of losing his life or is it because of a lapse in consciousness? [[[[fear of losing your life is a lapse in consciousness]]]

The physical body is in all respects subject to destruction so there is no purpose in being frightened,[[u know ur going to die why are u scared? its because u dont understand the next sentence]]]

nor should there be any concern over the possibility of destruction of the individual consciousness because its nature is also eternal.
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(no subject) [Jun. 7th, 2016|01:51 pm]
Crystal
Many of you have been taught by your religions that God is to be feared. Many of you have been taught that this life is all their is and after this life there is nothing more. Others have been taught that after death one goes to heaven or hell. Still other have been taught that it is possible for the soul to be possessed. Some of you believe the possibility of reincarnation and others among you cannot fathom what is true and what is false. Many of you have been conditioned by erroneous conceptions, programed by false realities and even brainwashed to follow belief systems that intelligently it is difficult to follow.

Now we are giving everyone the oppurtunity to learn the eternal message of Bhagavad-Gita. All intelligent species of life, human being and otherwise can take advantage of these instructions and benefit eternally by the transcendental knowledge contained within the Bhagavad-Gita and we are confident that this realization will manifest as a reality in the forseeable future.


{{{and they did a great job!]]]]
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(no subject) [Jun. 7th, 2016|12:41 pm]
Crystal
Crystal Kuegel
12:52am
Crystal Kuegel
read my research!
Orange TheeCraze Moore
12:57am
Orange TheeCraze Moore
O GOt u fam
Orange TheeCraze Moore
1:10am
Orange TheeCraze Moore
u pulled tht Out ya pretty @$$ in 3 hOur$ niCe. LOve ur pOint Of view On it all. HOw did u knO O wud read it all?
Im very muCh wit O-GreeanCe On u$ COminG tO earth tO be Clo$er tO GOD
Crystal Kuegel
1:11am
Crystal Kuegel
you havent read it all and i bet ur smart by the way u type discuss me over there in california to ur friends ..try starting from the beginning
Orange TheeCraze Moore
1:11am
Orange TheeCraze Moore
O wa$ $ent baCc tO earth tO help wit thee spiritual war tht i$ at bOund
O did read it all
Didnt even $kim thru it
Crystal Kuegel
1:12am
Crystal Kuegel
the whole journal?
its written from 2002
Orange TheeCraze Moore
1:13am
Orange TheeCraze Moore
Ki$hna beinG a portraitsince Of GOD
Maya illusory enerGy
Crystal Kuegel
1:13am
Crystal Kuegel
no go search my journal u got to start from the beginning
Orange TheeCraze Moore
1:13am
Orange TheeCraze Moore
Imma read mOre
$O there$ mOre
Where
Crystal Kuegel
1:14am
Crystal Kuegel
livejournal.com
starzz1919
Orange TheeCraze Moore
1:14am
Orange TheeCraze Moore
YippiO
Crystal Kuegel
1:14am
Crystal Kuegel
u wont read it all tonight!!
Orange TheeCraze Moore
1:18am
Orange TheeCraze Moore
It$ $hOwinG $tuff Obout harry pOtter and thee Cur$ed Child are u $ure tht$ thee riGht thinG hehe
Crystal Kuegel
1:20am
Crystal Kuegel
This is my journal
U have to search starzz1919
On livejournal
Orange TheeCraze Moore
1:25am
Orange TheeCraze Moore
duh lOl tht$ me hehe. O Got u. Imma $earCh it......... btw win O $ay "tht$ me" tht$ my way Of $ayinG $rry in an unapOloGetiC way. Im praCtiCinG On havinG nO reGret$ whiCh O dnt have O ju$ u$e tO u$e thee wOrd "$rry" a$ a aCt Of COmpa$$iOn Or pOlitene$$
Wat am O $earChinG O-Gain?
Ur name riGht tO Get tO ur full jOurnal?
Or thee title Of ur jOurnal?
Orange TheeCraze Moore
2:25am
Orange TheeCraze Moore
O wrOte an exten$ive COmment On ur jOurnel entry. HOpefully it pO$ted Cuzz O $pent $um time On it. 😉
Crystal Kuegel
2:27am
Crystal Kuegel
i dont see it
Orange TheeCraze Moore
2:30am
Orange TheeCraze Moore
Grrrr man O $pent at lea$t 10 min$ On it uGh O hate win $hit like tht happen$ . Imma hOohk u up OGain. Ju$ GIve me a $eC. It may be le$$ exten$ive but u will Get thee jy$t Of it
Cnt believe it dOe$nt $how grrr
Ur very pretty BTW
Orange TheeCraze Moore
3:14am
Orange TheeCraze Moore
My fOne i$ GOinG $tOopid it ju$ pO$ted an unfini$hed COmment. Pl$ era$e tht la$t One imma GIve it Onother try
Im really tired but O will $ure hit up ur jOurnel win O wake. Really wi$h it wudve kept my fir$t One uGh
Today
Orange TheeCraze Moore
12:18pm
Orange TheeCraze Moore
OlriGht O hOohked u up but it$ a pieCe by be COmment thO. My enemie$ are attaCcinG frm all anGle$ mad tht they Cnt $tOp my pOint Of view and tryinG tO make me $eem like a nitwit. If u read CLO$ely u will Gst thee be$t Out Of it in$tead Of wat they want u tO believe Of it
Crystal Kuegel
12:19pm
Crystal Kuegel
ur talking about in your head enimies?
i got all ur comments
Orange TheeCraze Moore
12:22pm
Orange TheeCraze Moore
NO thee enemie$ Ove had fOr thOu$and$ and thOu$and$ Of year$. Thee un$een thee vi$ible. It$ never all in ur head. Tht$ wat they make it Out tO be
Crystal Kuegel
12:22pm
Crystal Kuegel
u shouldnt have enimies
Orange TheeCraze Moore
12:22pm
Orange TheeCraze Moore
It$ all vi$ible even if it isnt
We all have enemis it$ Called balamCe
Ur nothing wit Out em
$tand fOr $umptn Or fall fOr nOthinG
U knO tht
Crystal Kuegel
12:24pm
Crystal Kuegel
well yes but u HAVE to start focusing on the inner YOU and get down to your highest concionsness i have no enemies. i am a strong person with unconditional love for everyone. stop talking in poems and start speaking the truth...inside of you
Orange TheeCraze Moore
12:25pm
Orange TheeCraze Moore
WOrk wit me. Pl$ dnt try tO piC my brain😢
Crystal Kuegel
12:25pm
Crystal Kuegel
but your afraid of something. do u realize youre talking to A PSYCHIC
Orange TheeCraze Moore
12:25pm
Orange TheeCraze Moore
U have Olot tO learn my friend
U will C $Oon enuff
Crystal Kuegel
12:26pm
Crystal Kuegel
youre afraid of something deep inside of yourself and fear is holding you back
u speak in riddles right now, please hear this!
Orange TheeCraze Moore
12:26pm
Orange TheeCraze Moore
O fear nOthinG but my$elf. O fear nOthinG but GOD
Crystal Kuegel
12:27pm
Crystal Kuegel
god is nothing to fear. you should never fear yourself
Orange TheeCraze Moore
12:27pm
Orange TheeCraze Moore
Ur talkinG tO One @$ well
U wudve knOwn tht O read ur whOle entry
U knO it
O feel ur pOwer
Crystal Kuegel
12:27pm
Crystal Kuegel
god is an entity to please not fear! man wants u to fear him
dont u get it, im about to update my journal soon
youll see
Orange TheeCraze Moore
12:28pm
Orange TheeCraze Moore
Tht$ y im takinG tims Out my bizzy $chedule tO $peak wit u. My COre $ay$ it$ needed
Crystal Kuegel
12:29pm
Crystal Kuegel
thanks what do u do in california
Orange TheeCraze Moore
12:30pm
Orange TheeCraze Moore
Im a $truGglinG mu$iCian tht will make it bIG $Oon. be$ide$ tht imma GanG$ta
U have a very Great pOint On nOt fearinG my$elf nOt fearinG GOD
I knew O had tO Get $umptn frm u. Thx
Imma lOohk intO tht very thinG
My mOm $aid tht very thinG i$ hOldinG me baCc
Yea i knew u were a pyschic
Crystal Kuegel
12:33pm
Crystal Kuegel
start speaking about things, youve created a different language and i think ur throat chakra is closed
u know about chakras
Orange TheeCraze Moore
12:33pm
Orange TheeCraze Moore
Of cOur$e
HOw i$ it ClO$ed beCau$e O develOpd an lanGuage?
If it i$ hOw dO O Open it?
Crystal Kuegel
12:36pm
Crystal Kuegel
because u make yourself hard to understand to others around you, yet they get smarter if they can understand you. so youre thinking on a perplexpled level and your not as knowledgable as u should be about yourself. this is all about YOU. sink inside of yourself and feed off the inner self that you are have been and always will be and you will come to conciousness
Crystal Kuegel
12:37pm
Crystal Kuegel
and try listening to chakra healing on u tube for free like i do...and guided meditations such as paul santisi will actually TEACH u ALOT
tibetian sound bowls, binary beats that all helps fast
Orange TheeCraze Moore
12:38pm
Orange TheeCraze Moore
WOW
Crystal Kuegel
12:38pm
Crystal Kuegel
YES u see now!!
something is starting in north carolina, its gonna be big
i AM krishnas past life spirit. but i am CRYSTAL
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(no subject) [Jun. 7th, 2016|12:34 pm]
Crystal
If as in the previous verse Arjuna has determined that life would not be worth living even if winning the battle then it might be questioned what destined designation does he assign for himself? To this query Arjuna has now determined in his mind that unconditional surrender to the Supreme Lord Krishna is the greatest panacea than any other means prescribed in Vedic scriptures. The Vedic scriptures reveal that He who originated the entire creation, {{{which is a MAN made ideal probably cause krishna was big headed}}}from whose breath emanated the eternal Vedas for Brahma to speak, that Supreme Personality, omniscient and effulgent is He who should be sought for shelter.

Also in the books of law in the Vedic culture it is written that He who originated Brahma and protects the eternal Vedas is He the Supreme Lord Krishna, all knowing and effulgent who should be sought for shelter. Those who seek shelter of the Supreme Lord Krishna are never deluded.

Lord Krishna is known as Janardana or He who always removes the ignorance of His devotees. {{{this is very interesting in todays time}}}

Arjuna has lost the power of discrimination in knowing what is beneficial for himself and what is not. So realizing this he tells Lord Krishna that he is surrendering to Him whose power is not known by Brahma or Siva and whose attributes and potencies are transcendental to the material existence. Who is an ocean of qualities such as compassion and mercy and this Lord Krishna has descended Himself and incarnated in the Vrsni dynasty in the family of Vasudeva for the benefit of His devotees and all those who follow righteousness in accordance to the Vedic scriptures who are eligible to receive the mercy and compassion of the Supreme Lord.

According to Vedic scriptures one who dies in this world without becoming self-realized is a miser. [miser is a weak spirit in a psysical body it was as bad as a curse word}}
{{{I'm starting to become VERY self realized which i can explain by using words like concicoinsness..which i never know how to spell}}}

One is called a miser who is desitute of knowledge of the nature {knowledge of nature is what i call the basics, what my grandma calls common sense ..but its common sense of the true id.} and qualities of their immortal soul.

In worldly parlance one is known as a miser who is extremely stingy with their money. Miserliness here is the affliction of weakness regarding ones spiritual identity and integrity.

Discriminatory power(meaning the kings that ruled} weakened by vices forms the delusion which bewilders the intelligence.

{discrimination against those different..ie poor, stupid, weak, the kings that ruled formed these conceptions within the kingdoms but all were , weakend by immoral or wicked behavior which formed delusions which drives your mind insane, or makes u more powerful depending on if you were the one being discriminated against or the one doing the discriminating, theres always a chain of command]]]

Arjuna whose ignorance was removed due to the compassion of the Lord for His devotees, realized this and unconditionally surrendered to Lord Krishna with the words tvam prapannam meaning surrendered unto you and asks the Lord for spiritual guidance as confirmed by the words sadhi mam instruct me.

Arjuna qualifies his own fitness to receive these instructions from Lord Krishna by the words sisyah te aham meaning I am your disciple. This was stated by Arjuna so that Lord Krishna would understand that he was serious and not doubt his intentions that he was a fit recipient for the Lords mercy and give him instructions out of His causeless compassion.

[[[[[youve got to understand that when krishnas soul came down to earth he was already advanced, his soul was more advanced, more closer to God than most spirit people on earth. of course hes gonna be different and worshipped and talked about and wrote about! as well as being identified with and as God through people in his kingdom which he RULED!!! hahahha. just saying]]]]]
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THIS IS IT. this is what I'm into! [Jun. 7th, 2016|12:16 am]
Crystal
The consciousness of the living entity is 2-fold comprised of the individual consciousness
[[[this is where she starts to explain consciousness]]]

and the Ultimate Consciousness. [[[who is ultimately god or maybe even the highest consciousness level they can be at in their physical bodies at one time like jesus mohumad and krishna name after name so far.}}}}

The individual consciousness( like we can explain the id superego and ego which is different in the english language than the words coincussness and subcoinciousness which is under the control of the living entity is designated by terms like the...
->}}
individual soul,
the embodied soul, [our incarnate (trapped)souls from past lives]
the controller of the body, (EGO)
the knower of the physical body,(superEGO) of the nature of knowledge,( the ID of course! the basics) the substratum (basic of truth) of qualities,

[[we have our idivdual souls..this explains all humans]]]

always dependent upon the Supreme Lord

(ie meaning krishna who is NOT a god they just used every word that means GOD to describe GOD)

for its nature, condition and actions; sub-atomic, inherent within everything, capable of experiencing bondage and liberation.

The cause of bondage being association with pradhana or material nature composed of the three components of sattva or goodness, rajas or passion and tamas or ignorance as well as prakriti the material substratum and maya the illusory energy which transforms into the physical body, mind and senses.

[[[its explaining emotions and the physical world}}}}

The Ultimate Consciousness is not under the control of the living entities [[[NOT YET!!]]]](in this world)

and should be understood as being directly one with the Supreme Lord

([[[[[[krishna is a lord. a lord is not God. (or scott disick would be king) yet one may be described that if he is before his time, is big headed or born in. rich. and the people do not understand. why they cannot do what he does, is he is an older more advanced soul. more closer to god. but that is all what we strive to be in the spirit world. and why we come to earth is to be closer to God. our spirit selves choose to evolve we love learning up there and life is boring here. so we come down here and work out our souls in order to be closer to God or what our spirit ideal of perfection is. we lock and chain them to a physical body and stress our soul out, over and over again because we know that if we make it to the end there will be a great reward...ie our ideal of perfection...ie GOD... who he is to us in the spirit world]]]]]]]]

Krishna.
It is omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent and by nature the Ultimate Truth, the Ultimate knowledge, infinite, the Ultimate self within all, the controller of prakriti the material substratum, maya the external illusory energy, kala or time and karma or REACTIONS to ACTIONS

[[[[everyone change this in your head to RESPONDING to actions]]]].

Devoid of anything imperfect, worthy of propitiation

[[[[[(come on with the definition GOOGLE this is pathetic. direct everyone to the true meaning the first time dont make me search for it!!!! assholes.): propitiation: action of propitiating {win or regain the favor of (a god, spirit, or person.
{ funny to me how google named these 3!)) by doing something that pleases them}}}} appeasing a god, spirit, or person. {say what???}} i believe everyone is made from god a higher vibrational level of understanding, the matierial world, spirit world as well as every universe and holds all knowledge as far as our minds can imagine. he is the creator. the word god is described, as many languages that it is in as the same. they were definitely talking about a physical person. god hasnt come here to physical earth yet that i know of.)))

by all living entities, self manifested, independent, perfection personified, the Ultimate Reality, the Ultimate Personality,

[[[this is all that he was known as a man and a KING. a rular in his LAND. }}}}

the Supreme Lord Krishna who is also known in an impersonal way as brahman, parabrahman, paramatma as well as in a personal way with qualities and personality as Hari, Purusottama, Visnu and Narayana can only be attained by rendering 100% unadulterated loving devotional service to Him.

{{{{{{{im more than positive at this point that krishna had been labeled as God WRONGLY. but u know how people love to hype the story up. did krishna write this? no. a person did. (im not even reading the real thing) and i am. as did they. as does any writer=person}}}}}}

HA. HA. HA> HA FUCKING MOTHER FUCKERS HA.
call me crazy again mother fuckers. i just pulled this shit outta my ass. in 3 HOURS !!!
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im freaking out because i cant read The Bhagavada-Gita...but im learning fast i think [Jun. 6th, 2016|09:35 pm]
Crystal
Kesava Kasmiri's commentary authorised by the auspices of disciplic succession.

Kesava Kasmiri's Commentary on Bhagavad-Gita

in english

Seeing that the living entities in the material existence had lost their way becoming bereft of divine devotion and that knowledge had become
narrow through the over emphasis of scientific doctrines and philosophies which attempt to comprehend the Supreme Lords external energies exclusively in the terms of material conceptions


hypothesising them as the primary cause of existence
and thereby missing the essential fundamental truth of the ultimate spiritual reality.

These philosophies were propounded by Kanada, Jaimini, Kapila Muni and others as well as in other texts composed by the followers of Hiranyagarbha, Pasupata, Saura, Ganapatya and others. The Supreme Lord incarnated as Krsna Dvaipayana Vyasadeva and refuted all these hypothesis in his

Brahma Sutra

which reveals the ultimate truth and the nature of the ultimate reality.

Crystal's Explination{{{{{{this is explaining how we lost our way materially and shied away from divine devotion (to themselves) and that spiritual knowledge became narrow because science started popping up and people are learning how to figure out the world scientifically and scholars came about with therories because there were so many kings so they materialized the kings and forgot about spirituality comprehending the supreme lords powers ie basically they forgot about divine intervention and focused differently on discovering the world through science and within themselves through time they FORGOT about divine intervention. and the real lord krishna. who is said to be God himself. and im getting this from a copy of a commentary THAT SOMEONE ELSE WROTE ABOUT THE GITA}}}}}}}}}}}}





...
Further noticing the lack of propagation of spiritual knowledge and devotion to the Supreme Lord on the Earth which is full of demoniac rulers

antagonistic to divinity, truth and righteousness and in order to

insure the propagation of divinity, truth and righteousness as the panacea for all of humanity to cross over the ocean
of endless and incessant rebirth
in the material existence
and become eternal spiritual beings
free from the pangs of birth, old age, disease and death in His service in the spiritual worlds

and in order to perform divine deeds that destroy the impurities of kali yuga and with His delightful sport of granting the vision of His beauteous form which is the treasursehold of all attributes like sweetness, lovlieness and bliss mixed with his transcendental words

to fulfill the thristful longing of those who are only satisfied by seeing Him as the thirst of the Cataka bird
{{{{{{{people look at him longingly like their hungry for money or anything he has! someone to feed off}}}}}}}}}}}

is only satisfied by drinking the water that falls when it rains and under the seeming pretext of lessening the burden of the demoniac upon the Earth but being enchanted by the ardent devotion of Vasudeva and Devaki,

the Supreme Lord Krishna endowed with all power, all majesty and all potencies descended from the spiritual worlds and manifested Himself as their son in His eternal transcendental form of consciousness and bliss.

{{{{{{{{he notices the lack of spiritual knowledge, but what hes talking about is our eternal spiritual beings, which live in what i call the spirit world and to ensure that we become eternal spiritual beings
free from the pangs of birth, old age, disease and death, Krishna came down to earth. beacuse people were cycling and not coming back to the spirit world, like i have been, cycling, life after life waiting for the right time, the perfect opportunity, killing myself or getting taken before my time over and over again before i reached my lover. living this life many times has damaged my soul and im not allowed to regenerate i have to carry these burdens with me life after life until i complete my contract with God witch we made in the very beginning before life. life is a cycle it happens over and over again, but earth seems to be on repeat in this lifetime, yet were evolving. a woman in Greenville nc handed me 7 dollars for gas when i was homeless, and all she said to me was break the cycle. she screamed ...you have to break the cycle."
i froze.}}}}}}}}}}}


http://www.bhagavad-gita.org/Gita/Commentaries/kumara-intro.html


The Supreme Lord Krishna reflecting on the nescience, greed and anger in this world decided that He would perform such extraordinary activities as to amaze and delight all the world who would hear about these pastimes. So He descended with this view that simply by being engaged in listening and remembering His divine pastimes and hearing about His glories the whole Earth would be redeemed Thereby benedicting both Vasudeva and Devaki by revealing His transcendental form and comforting words He ordered Himself to be taken to Nanda Maharaja's kingdom and there made him and his wife Yasoda and the cowherd boys and the gopis very happy as He exhibited His unlimited divine pastimes. There He nurtured their unconditional love for Him by protecting the cows, slaying various demons like Putana, Aghasura and Kesi, subduing the 100 headed serpent Kaliya, lifting the gigantic mountain Govardana, expanding Himself 1000's of times performing rasa lila. He effortlessly removed the pride of the four faced Brahma, He destroyed the arrogance of the thousand eyed Indra and He defeated the charms of the flowered love bow of Cupid. While sporting He terminated the demon King Kamsa and his servants and then relieved His parents, went to guru school and set the example of learning from a bonafide guru and serving him humbly, then duly executed His gurus request of bringing his dead son back to life. Thereafter He slayed the armies of the yavana demons 17 times and afterwards He transferred all the citizens from the city of Mathura to the ocean fortress of Dvaraka overnight while they slept. There He celebrated various astounding marriages such as the kidnapping of Rukmini, subduing seven tempestuous bulls and the rescuing and marrying 16, 108 princesses after slaying Narakasura. In order to show devotion to His dynasty, the Yadavas and to the sons of His father Vasudeva' sister known as the five Pandavas, He saw to it that the demons Paundraka, Jarasandha, Sisupala, Salva and others were terminated as they were the very embodiment of burden to the Earth and obstacles to devotion.

In order to further remove the remaining burden of the Earth, the Supreme Lord used the evilness of Duryodhana and the Kauravas as the instruments to instigate war against the five Pandavas who fought on the side of righteousness in the Battle of Kuruksetra. In this battle lasting 18 days at Arjunas request the Supreme Lord Krishna did deign to be his chariot driver; but by the Lords desire at the last minute Arjuna sat down on the chariot completely overcome by grief and made the decision to become a renunciate and refrain from battle due to feelings of compassion and fraternity. Thinking that he would be guilty of the sin of fratricide and the evils of destruction of the dynasty he helplessly dropped his bow and quiver of arrows and forlornly lamented his despair.

{{{{{{{{this part is telling me that the world used to be so VERY different in all areas at the very same time. because i believe this a little bit , about the wars and the demons and who he fought, i also believe that the Quran is right in that time place and the person that wrote it is very divine. im not reading these books yet to my fullest extent}}}}}}}}}
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(no subject) [Jun. 6th, 2016|05:41 pm]
Crystal
I live the life I deserve, blessed
Fuck a vacay I feel better at work
I mean whatever it's worth
I give whatever I'm worth
For my niggas who gonna go to Hell and back for me
I'mma give em Heaven on Earth for a hell of a check
Yeah whichever come first
Blessings on blessings on blessings
Look at my life man that's lessons on lessons on lessons
I treat the beat like its a reverend
I tell the truth like father forgive me these are all my confessions
Man this wasn't luck it was destined
I done lost homies who been with me since Ed, Edd, and Eddy
Who flip like confetti and then when you back they back to call you "dog"
That shit get get petty, bitch don't give no dap to me nigga
Funny thing about talkin' behind my back
Is that it just keep comin' back to me nigga
Was all for a sec now its back to me nigga
You mad at me, this ain't what I want man this what it had to be
This is that late night workin' after three
Man this why my old girl was mad at me
This why I'm your majesty
Man, the clique is the tightest, the pussy's the tightest
The drinks are the coldest, the future the brightest
The feat not divided, the love is divided
And I just got it, thank God that we got it, blessed
I don't know what I would do without it
Crew look like we robbed a bank, but all we make is deposits
Your profit we profit, oh God

I'm here for a good time not a long time, you know I
I haven't had a good time in a long time, you know I
I'm way up I feel blessed, way up I feel blessed
I'm way up I feel blessed, way up I feel blessed

Look, I ain't gonna say that we back or nothin'
Cause that implies that we're back from somethin'
If we're back from somethin' it's some checks you owe us
I expect that payment, nothin' less or over
I don't need them favors that you ask me for
I could give two fucks 'bout where the Grammys go
I just gave out Grammys on my Instagram
Them OVO boys the business man
It is what it is, trust me you get what you give, yeah
You gotta come to my side and see how we live, yeah
I cannot see Heaven bein' much better than this, yeah
Blessings on blessings from me and my niggas from the Six
Look at what we did
Be quiet I'm doin' a toast
For niggas that don't really do shit I swear y'all be doin' the most
Stop worryin' about whoever's next
I am just worried about my mama worryin' less
I think I'm famous enough, I don't need anymore press
I am convinced I'm the only one left that's still doin' this shit, man

I'm here for a good time not a long time, you know I
I haven't had a good time in a long time, you know I
I'm way up I feel blessed, way up I feel blessed
I'm way up I feel blessed, way up I feel blessed

My grandma just died, I'm the man of the house
So every mornin' I'm up cause I can't let them down
Always down for the cause, never down for the count
I guess when your stars align you do like the solar system and plan it out
So I'm goin' over time on the overtime
Yeah I'm not invested but you can't attest it
Million dollar goals, man its to manifest it
The family never goin' anorexic
I pay my mortgage and electric
Never goin' under even with anesthetics
At the top of the rap game and progressin'
Check after check, checkin' off my check list
Try and blow my cake just know that's a death wish
No mistakes in life ever, it's only lessons
Shit feel like Shaq and Penny got back together
You tore the game apart who put it back together?

I'm here for a good time not a long time, you know I
I haven't had a good time in a long time, you know I
I'm way up I feel blessed, way up I feel blessed
I'm way up I feel blessed, way up I feel blessed

Since the truth keep niggas traumatized
They tryna compromise my condom size
So I Snapchat that whole shit
Tryna see titties, tryna show dick
And I swear to God I hope they post it
I'm blessed
Even though I get slammed with lawsuits like car doors
See three P.O.'s like Star Wars
They want me by the road holding up cardboard
So I go extra hard on the hard floor
Right now, I'm calling you from my home gym
Right after that, nigga I'm gon' swim
Just did a couple laps in my home pool
And my daughter right there getting home-schooled
I'm blessed, and I was thinking 'bout starting up my own school
A Montessori, and the hallway looking like a monastery
Oh yes I'm way up, I feel blessed
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(no subject) [Jun. 6th, 2016|05:28 pm]
Crystal
look an overwhelming amount of information is NOT what i need right now. this has happened before. in fact over and over again. i already know what i know, and im not going to think about it right now. not everything can be pretold. im still young. i do have a real life to live. i do know how to handle this already, its easier now that ive been through what ive been through and im past that. im not gonna go fast i can resist anyones thoughts and do my own damn thing. please stop thinking to me. I'm busy healing i do not need emotional real life drama of any kind all up in my head. the panic attacks are GONE. the crying is almost OVER. do me a favor and think about YOURSELF. I'm not gonna help you, thinking honestly about youre own damn self will severely HELP you.

if u want to help ME bring over some party favors and lets get wasted. ok?
thanks.
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(no subject) [Jun. 6th, 2016|04:16 pm]
Crystal
look i have an idea im going to stop focusing on you all the time and think about something like starting a revolution
raising everybody in the world to a higher vibration and getting everyone in. cause everyone can hear me now,my doctors, my friends, except marias an idiot. my families stupid. but all we need to do is talk about it. TALK ABOUT IT.
i can teach a lot already,
but think about it, if we give people the life we've always dreamed about, that harry potter, witchy, mythological lifestyle, it wont be me their talking about. theyll be talking about themselves.

im not different , thats a simple fact. u ALL are like ME. i am like YOU. stupid fucking idiots.

i need to sit the fuck down and talk about everything about me without feeling like im stupid or crazy.
fuck im done being scared, if u need help ask john of god and go to the crystal bed its a fucking hr away.

YOU HAVE MONEY.
I DONT HAVE MONEY.

I'm here for a good time, you know I,
I havent had a good time in a long time,
u know i....IM WAY UP I FEEL BLESSED!!
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(no subject) [Jun. 6th, 2016|01:15 pm]
Crystal

Larry done pissed me the fuck off today yo! I cursed his ass out real quick tho. Dont fuck with me about money these days i aint got none.  Stingy nigger.

I got ptsd about money now.
Go ahead and diagnose me.
Add it to the list

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(no subject) [Jun. 5th, 2016|09:11 pm]
Crystal
this is one way i focus completely on myself:

i read, post, reread, and stay on my own facebook page, rather than read other peoples facebook pages

i have to remind my friends that i dont be on facebook looking at their posts too often.
and sometimes they get hurt when i say i didnt see your post, or ask me why didnt u like my picture.

i feel bad about that...(like really) but i do. its like how much proof do u need to know that i care????
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(no subject) [Jun. 5th, 2016|07:17 pm]
Crystal
im almost positive im krishnas spirit, i ate butter, i stole it when i was a kid, i play flute... im not sure of everything yet but when i was in nyc i walked into a store and i didnt speak i just was thinking in a manic episode that omg am i jesus? and the man answered my thought out loud, he said youre not jesus. i turned to look at him turned back around to the oils and krishna oil was there and i got really happy and thought...im krishna i bought the oil and blessed myself with it on top of the empire state building where i left the only pair of shoes i brought with me on purpose so my souls could be closer to God.


Krishna is often described and portrayed as an infant eating butter, a young boy playing a flute as in the Bhagavata Purana,[3} -wikipedia


The Gita is the “song of the Lord” and it is the conversation between Krishna and his friend Arjuna. By this time, Krishna is the king of Mathura and a powerful ally in a brewing war between the Pandavas and their cousins the Kaurava for the known world. From what I understand the system involved an overall king and then more minor kings under them who had smaller kingdoms. Krishna was a close family friend and he was part of the lives of all the cousins as they grew up.
In a lot of the story of the war it is not at all clear if anyone knows that Krishna is God. He lives much more like a regular person (regular king? Does that exist?) than in his earlier life. There aren’t the same miracles going on around him. He isn’t holding up mountains with his pinky finger anymore. Although, there are a few moments where it is clear that people do know. When Arjuna asks him to reveal his true form; when Draupadi calls on him to save her honor at the dice game; when the enemy tries to capture him and cannot contain him; when he gives the blind king sight for a few moments. So his friends know that he is God, yet he is also simply a friend.

...

But when the two sides are lined up and ready to fight, it is Arjuna who must blow the conch shell to begin the war and looking across to the enemy he sees his uncle, his teachers, his friends, and his family on both sides and he falters. In that moment, Krishna teaches him the divine Truth and helps open his eyes to what he must do. Krishna tells him that it is his duty to fight. This war must be fought. But death is actually only an illusion, so he should not feel upset at having to kill his friends and relatives. At one point Arjuna asks to see Krishna’s true form, his divine form. Krishna eventually gives him and the description of him is awe-inducing and terrifying!
The war of The Mahabharata took a big toll on all its participants. It is said to have ushered in the dark age of the Kali Yuga (which we are currently in). Honorable practices were abandoned, rules were broken that had never been broken before. Though Krishna came to the war with the promise that he would not take part, he did manipulate a lot behind the scenes. He had the insight to know how things had to go and so he sometimes used whatever means necessary to get that outcome. (Analyzing Krishna’s actions during the war is another post I’d love to do sometime).
The mother of the Kaurava, Gandhari, felt that Krishna had cheated and in her grief, she cursed him. One of the interesting things about The Mahabharata is that every curse always comes true. When something is spoken, it has to happen. Gandhari says that Krishna will die alone and in rags. He says that he already knows this to be true. After some time Krishna retires to the forest to meditate (this was a standard practice for the end of one’s life and is still given as the part of the proper progression of life). His foot is mistaken for an animal and a hunter shoots and kills him, though Krishna forgives the hunter and tells him that it was fated to happen and it is all right. (Another interesting thing in The Mahabharata is how every action that happens has multiple sources and explanations. Anytime someone does something it is because of not only their present circumstances, but actions from past lives, and other forms of fate).
So Krishna dies alone in the forest.
-http://www.patheos.com/blogs/whitehindu/2014/09/we-all-think-our-religion-is-the-right-one/


it's more than hard for me to believe that something that happened so long ago seems to be something like a fairy tale or myths, i know krishna lived, i know they all lived, as in greek mythology too. but im caught in a world where we act like that was a fairy tale or something someone made up. what does the word mytholgical mean?
google says:

myth·o·log·i·cal
ˌmiTHəˈläjək(ə)l/
adjective
relating to, based on, or appearing in myths or mythology.
"the tree of life is one of the oldest of all mythological symbols"
synonyms: fabled, fabulous, folkloric, fairy-tale, legendary, mythical, mythic, traditional; More

myth
miTH/Submit
noun
1.
a traditional story, especially one concerning the early history of a people or explaining some natural or social phenomenon, and typically involving supernatural beings or events. ie.
synonyms: folk tale, folk story, legend, tale, story, fable, saga, mythos, lore, folklore, mythology
"ancient Greek myths"
2.
a widely held but false belief or idea.
"he wants to dispel the myth that sea kayaking is too risky or too strenuous"


are we brainwashing us? me being american, i have no culture. NONE.
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(no subject) [Jun. 3rd, 2016|10:29 am]
Crystal
im unsure but im pretty sure john of God is coming this way with his physical body.

to meet me.
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